When I first read about BARS therapy, from the maiden issue of RCWFI Care magazine on November 2007, I felt a strong sense of curiosity. I let go of the thought for some time, trying to rationalize and deny my need for it. Telling myself I had been exercising much internal processing, that my exposure with “Reparenting the Child Within” and other workshops had thought me. I can manage my stress. Not until this October, when my menstrual cycle had been delayed for 2 months, and my throat started to have painful swallowing and breathing, I decided to comply to the inner invitation towards BARS therapy.
I sent an SMS inquiry one afternoon, but as I failed to receive a response in 2 days, I thought my inquiry was not received, so I gave up. Lo and behold David gave me a missed call after 2 days. When I called him back after 3 days, after David called; my heart throbbed. I felt a strong part of me, persuading me "Go for it". Hesitant as I was, I set 2 possible schedules. As I was unable to comply, in our initial meeting, I reset the schedule, and upon meeting with him and Claudine, I felt some sort of connection, and anxiety, though I know within that I am is safe hands.
When we started, I was amazed when Claudine and David looked at me and told me, "You seems to be not living out your dreams". I was taken aback, for deep inside me I am aware they were right.
David started the session with a few minutes of Qi Gong, which is a method of meditation with very slow hand/arm movements a few minutes some swaying (similar to Thai Chi).
David said “Imagine you are under a waterfall.” I did. “Imagined a ball of light.” I did. “Hold it to your chest.” I did. His instruction to hold both hands with index and thumb fingers holding together at the top of my head, I felt some electric current, which makes me feel a bit dizzy, and the back of my head seemingly to reap-off (same feeling whenever I do 15 minutes of treadmill with the speed of 50).
Claudine told me that it was David who will facilitate the rest of my session that day; while she would be there to support the process. After the warm-up session, I was asked to lay down at on a high massage table. Laying down, I got tensed up inside, having an inner mantra, "it is ok to feel my feelings", "it is safe to feel my emotions". Claudine touched my chest and heart, and ask me if I can see my inner child, I say "I do". Claudine was able to read tell me how I felt, my relationship was with my inner child, how much struggle I am experiencing in relating to her, and what simple thing she need from of me.... "To just cry with her, pain". As Claudine exclaimed these words, I suddenly perceived like 5 year old again, wailing over my incest sexual abuse, my regret of having failed suicidal attempt by that age (All the time I thought...and believe was resolved, as I have accepted and forgiven them). Crying with my inner child made me felt more relax, on the table.
During the session, David touched my head and my feet, mumbling some sort of a prayer mantra, and when he is holding my head, he asked me some questions, that would help me be more open, to see the light, and feel the energy flow. I complain about returning, ripping headaches, and utter some soft prayer that made me relax, some times he asked me to just say "Yes" as acknowledgement of openness, willingness to let-go, and surrender. Yes, to newness....Yes to life reconstruction.
Claudine, on the other hand, touched my chest, upper stomach and abdomen, (after I agreed, and gave her permission)... after a few moments of silence, with her hand on top of said areas, she told me how I have been feeling physically for the past few months; as if she was reading it thru an X-Ray film. Towards the end of my session with them that day, Claudine unearthed a past life reality...which answers a long standing question; about my difficulty of feeling my own emotions, as well as my constant throat problems.
My first experience with them was quite scary, but very mending. I was offered to drink a glass of water after our session. To my surprise, the pain in the throat and upper stomach that I feel whenever I drink, swallow, or breath deep was gone. I was able to feel more lighter, and more at ease. With the awareness of my past life connection to my none-feeling, makes me more attune to living, experiencing and having life.
My second session will surely bring out more insights, but this time fear would be gone; as I have experienced an expansive awakening inside, that for 33 years was kept hidden from my consciousness. Thanks to both of you!
Merry Meet!
M. C.
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