Claudine becomes a human flashdrive

If one were to put my life on a chart, one would see a frenzied pattern of very high highs and very low lows. I came to a point of sheer exhaustion and depression. After one frantic phone call to my very reliable and wise counselor/therapist, Joji, she said to me firmly, “I need you to call Claudine,” in a tone that meant, “Its time to bring out the big guns.”

She explained that what Claudine does is to “unblock energies.” When I pressed Joji for details, she just said, “Its hard to explain. Basta, they are a team – Claudine and David. They put their hands on your head and feet and you will probably not feel anything, but the clients I have referred to them, come back feeling better and calmer.” It sounded very zen and first world to me, and trusting Joji, I went.

Fast forward to the day of my first session. David started me with a few minutes of Qi Gong, which is a method of meditation with very slow hand/arm movements accompanied by some swaying. Imagine you are under a waterflow. I did. Imagine a ball of light. I did. Hold it to your chest. I did. After the Qi Gong session, I felt calmer and more focused. I felt lighter.

As with my first and succeeding sessions of Bars Access Therapy, I was asked to lie on a high massage table. Claudine would put her hands on my head and David would pose his hands above me and wave away unseen impurities in my aura. It reminded me of church, where people prayed and laid hands on the sick. Here I was – an emotional decrepit.

Their only request was that I be open. So I was. I was open to anything and everything that would help me out of my personal pit of despair. I opened my mind and heart to the universe, pleaded with it and asked it to again be my friend. I opened my mind to spirituality, gave thanks for my blessings and requested a reunion with the God that I knew joyously as a young girl. I was open.

Alas, being human and a lawyer (of all things), skepticism attempted to enter into my head. As Claudine’s fingers were on my temples, my exact thought was: “Hello, wala akong maramdaman. Niloloko yata ako ng mga ‘to.”). But even before doubt and negativity could make themselves more comfortable and lend themselves to more creative and eloquent ways of criticizing, Claudine started telling me in detail, about my specific struggles, hurts and fears. As she spoke, I felt flashes of electric cold pulsate and spread from my legs, to my stomach, chest and arms. I was told that the sensation I was feeling was the release of blocked energies. I felt these cold pulses frequently. As I was feeling somewhat like a human low-voltage electricity conductor, Claudine continued her very detailed insights into my past and current realities. I tried to “loose her” by contradicting and even debating with some of the things she said. But there was no fooling her. For example, she said she could see emotional abuse and asked me who it was that was doing it to me. I told her a name. She said no, “it’s a man.” She was insistent and I had to admit defeat. Yes, it really was a man. It’s about time I acknowledged it. That alone was a sheer breakthrough. More insights flowed from her and more of my childhood issues were acknowledged. Without exaggeration, I couldn’t help but think of my temples as USB ports and Claudine’s fingers as flashdisks just waiting to download information and memories from my mind and heart that I forgot was there. Quite frankly, it was a bit scary. Thankfully, like most scary things (i.e. roller coasters, bar examinations), I survived feeling a bit stronger.

So for me, each session with David and Claudine ended with me feeling emotionally tougher. I felt more whole as a person. I felt more grounded. I felt calmer, that I could put things in better perspective.

The effects of the sessions (with the combined effect of counseling with Joji), could not be seen or felt as I walk the streets or go about my usual day to day activities. I still look the same. However, even I am surprised that things that used to make me react with rage, panic, deep sadness or feelings of rejection do not trouble me anymore. The people who used to get a rise out of me (try though they might these days), do not have the same effect on me. They do not (insert triumphant laugh here) push my buttons the way they used to. It’s amazing! While my circumstances have not changed, I discovered and continually discover that my reactions to and my thoughts about them, have. I can literally see the bewilderment in the eyes of those who used to taunt me, that I no longer fly off the handle at their attempts (be it intentional or unintentional) at unnerving me.

While I have tried other methods at resolving my issues (like journaling, going to Joji for counseling, doing fulfilling activities, reading more on healing), I find that I would not have been able to “get things together,” if it were not for Claudine and David’s methods of unblocking and balancing my “constipated” energies.

- Elizabeth Victoria L. Medina